Miss Piggy and Moi’s Design Advice

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Miss Piggy grew up as a pulchritudinous pig on a farm in Hog Springs, Iowa. Her father died in a tragic tractor accident when she was young”and her mother wasn’t that nice to her,” Frank Oz told The New York Times in 1979. “She had to enter beauty contests to survive, as many single women do”… and she was forced to pose for ads, including one for bacon. It’s a time that she prefers not to speak of, although she insists that she never took her clothes off for a job.

Best of all, her words of wisdom are as sharp and to-the-point as she is. And in all honesty, can we really ignore Miss Piggy’s epicurean deportment, astute observations and point-on advice?
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
Not that I would go so far as to give someone a black eye over a piece mistakenly purchased or misaligned, but suffice it to say that much can be rectified with a little moving of this and that.
“Too much exercise can damage your health…Eat what you want, exercise your prerogative, and find a good plastic surgeon who gives frequent-flyer miles.”
Yes, yes, you’d prefer a hands-off approach. Literally. Not that you probably think physical activity is inappropriate. It’s just that if the weight of the sofa is heavy enough for you to need a spotter, you’re probably not going to want to move it in the first place.

But move it you must, if you need a microphone to talk to the person sitting on the other chair in your living room. For how many times do I see what I call a megaphone seating arrangement?  Enough for the pork belly futures to rise to new heights.

Speaking of new heights, here is the fabulous and inexpensive Fender floor lamp.
http://www.wilkoselectric.com

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Then we have the new THIN, an upwardly mobile LED task light that generates maximum coverage while using minimal space. 27″ tall, it has an ultra-thin tubular body mounted on a ball joint allowing for multi-directional movement. When opened, it can stretch out  three feet across the work surface. When folded, the lamp reduces to a minimal vertical profile. It is available in solid brass, satin nickel, and powder coated finishes. http://www.juniper-design.com/products/thin

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“There is the satisfaction of providing your public with a vision of true beautology, true sytlisity, – how can I put it? – true glamorositude.”
When we call a chair or a house beautiful, really what we’re saying is that we like the way of life it is suggesting to us. It has an attitude we’re attracted to: if it was magically turned into a person, we’d like who it was. It would be convenient if we could remain in much the same mood wherever we happened to be, in a cheap motel or a palace (think of how much money we’d save on redecorating our houses), but unfortunately we’re highly vulnerable to the coded messages that emanate from our surroundings. This helps to explain our passionate feelings towards architecture and home decoration: these things help to decide who we are.
Chelsea Handler asked Miss Piggy in an 2011 interview, about her weight and classification as “plus-size.” “If by plus you mean I have an extra fabulous, gorgeous give me some of that figure, then, yes,” Miss Piggy responded. “If you mean fat, then no.” She struts her stuff and knows she is so beautiful. She doesn’t care if her body isn’t perfect. And why should she?
And if your house isn’t perfect?

I go by the philosophy of Perfectly Imperfect. In Deborah Needleman’s book, “The Perfectly Imperfect Home”, the point of decorating is to create the background for the best life you can have, with all its joys and imperfections.

Whether you decorate your home from items from a flea market, off Kiiji, an antique store, your grandmother’s basement, a high end furniture boutique, mining what you already own, or better yet, all of the above – together we can create your best life, from the floor up. Well, maybe sans Miss Piggy and Kermie paraphernalia.

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“I am still just little Moi, the same gorgeous and supremely talented pig. Beauty is my curse.”
I’m with Miss Piggy. Beauty is my religion. And if I find If I’m having a bit of an off day, I feel a whole lot better with a vigorous round of shopping (at least one store an hour).

Whether you are having an off day or not, I suggest you don’t miss spending at least one hour perusing the spectacular MELANGE, one of the most beautiful home decor stores in Calgary, before they sadly close at the end of June. One is hard pressed to find one thing there that you would not love to take home.
“Style comes in all shapes and sizes. Therefore, the bigger you are, the more style you have. And second, draw attention to your best features by pointing at them, and conceal your flaws by sucker punching anyone who mentions them.”
Just ask Miss Piggy, who received her very own mink (an actual mink – not a coat) in A Muppet Family Christmas, when what she really wanted was a proper wedding. But we all need to surrender to what is, at the time it is. As Eckhart Tolle says, “Stress is wanting something to be the way that it isn’t.”

But what we can do while waiting for Kermie to ask Miss Piggy to marry him, is adopt the Parisian philosophy; which is to give the impression that everything just happened to go together just perfectly and by accident. But in reality, it takes effort and thought to achieve Effortlessly Chic.

Which is where I come in – trailing clouds of glory and pink boas. (Or a pink tool belt.)

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“As moi says, “Designer, de better.”