| Be Where Your Feet Are |
| Do not adjust your sundial. It’s hard to find something new, revelatory, of erratic brilliance, to write about. Like it’s all been said before or I’ve said it a million times before. First, I know that the first sentence is incredibly important. It needs to immerse the reader into the setting, introduce key characters and get them hooked so that they don’t immediately switch to their Insta feed of avocado toast pics. I mean, I’m not trying to write a novel, a haiku, or grow a following of what I’ve cleverly framed as “personal consulting” alongside of my very demanding Netflix schedule. I just want to send out something violently interesting. An offering to people who want to hear from me — a sort of connection. Look, I’ll level with you, writing is not my favourite form of activity. But I do have to tell you that I almost wrote a tweet last month about how I don’t like avocado toast, but I deleted it because I didn’t want anyone to get mad at me. But there must be something I can write about. Umm…something with colourful language. It will also need a lot of words. How about the weird things people store in their pantry? Or how not to get your arm trapped under a sofa when moving it? Vintage tractor ploughing? Raising succulents from scratch? Or the latest decorative trend — collecting suzanis? |
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| One of all my many inestimable traits is that I only use words from the Oxford English Dictionary that have been recognized for the last 10 years. (My belief in self-reliance is legendary.) So I thought a long walk and a dance playlist could turn on a lightbulb, so I put on my tee-shirt with dogs all over it, emptied my backpack of some random detritus, found my traveler’s badge which features an image of binoculars that reads “Official World Explorer”, and set out to pace the neighbourhood in an upright, confident gait as I’m in kind of…absolute optimum state of physical peak for my age. I also feel that a little glamour belongs in everyday life. Besides, distance provides perspective. |
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| Umm…first a coffee. I believe in charisma, calcium and coffee. Well, that was satisfying and only took an hour and a half. |
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| Then a got a wheelbarrow of an idea. ROMO. What is ROMO? By now we have all heard of FOMO — the Fear of Missing Out. It’s hearing the distant sound of drums and breaking out in a cold sweat over possibly missing out on something. It’s the angst of seeing people with zero body fat and a thin, rippled waist. It’s the pang of scrolling through polished snapshots of everyone you know on lying on a tropical beach, when the only tropical thing you’ve seen this year is organic pineapples at Sobeys. The digitally intoxicated pressure to respond instantly or stay perpetually updated has become an exhausting exercise. Where ‘always on’ has become the default. |
| “Comparison is the thief of joy.” -Theodore Roosevelt |
| FOMO factory’s dizzying, insidious social media spiral and the constant stream of new content coupled with our human wiring for connection takes an emotional toll on us. It slowly chips away at our self-esteem, threatening us to fall victim to the illusion that everyone else is living a more fulfilling and successful life than our own. Where we feel like life is happening everywhere except where we are. As if we can’t BE enough. As if we can’t ever DO enough. Cause it don’t amount to a hill of beans when it comes right down to it. (Not sure why I’ve adopted a grandpappy drawl just now.) The instant accessibility of social media fosters a culture of scarcity and feelings of “never enough”, bombarding us with a sense of perpetual urgency, making our mostly ordinary life feel like we are the extra chair at the table. People are now spending a near-ubiquitous status of 4 hours and 37 minutes on their phones every day, checking them an average of 58 times each day. Screen-addled interactions are condensed into 140 characters or 30-second clips that sound like testimonials. Technology is a gift — when used with intention. But if we let it, it can mangle our worldviews and replace the very things we need most: real life conversations, nature’s wild beauty and crowds of trees, and moments of quiet and stillness, like a child lost in a colouring book. |
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| With that in mind, I’d like to flip the script and encourage you to instead embrace ROMO. No, ROMO is not the latest mineable cryptocurrency. It’s not a catchy slogan. It’s a mindset shift. It’s The Relief of Missing Out —a countercultural chocolate cake. It’s like switching from tight jeans to sweatpants after a long day. |
| “There is no battling the world, only ourselves.” – Paul Kingsnorth |
| ROMO isn’t about hiding under a blanket, but aligning your lifestyle with comfort and priorities, living your life on your terms. It’s about consciously shifting your focus. It’s choosing to be selective. To choose what not to do, what opportunities not to take. To choose things that bring sheer beauty to life. Going to the Cheesecake Factory. Bustin’ a move. This could be your new empowering acronym, going from a packed slate to serenity, from purchasing to minimizing, from pressure to presence.ROMO is the permission to pause. To breathe. To say, “I’m okay right here, doing this little thing that brings me peace”. Cause you’re only passing through once. And honestly? It’s kind of magical. |
| “We get by with a smile on our face…We get by.” – written by Ben Harper |
| Start by celebrating your own small victories. Did you manage to fold a fitted sheet today? Seriously, that’s a major accomplishment worthy of recognition. I t’s okay if you don’t have a proper skincare routine. It’s alright to have a smattering of uncharitable thoughts once or twice a day. And it’s fine to wave back at people who were actually waving to someone behind you. Happiness doesn’t always come from what we add to our lives. It’s not always about the big milestones. It’s quieter than that. It’s not linear, but constantly evolving. |
| Be Present—Right Here, Right Now |
| It’s the joy of turning down a plan without the soup of the suffering, skipping an online trend, and really being present. Not only can it come from what we choose to address, but also from what we let go of. Like some of that stuff in your basement. Or that incredibly unfortunate wall colour. |
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| Be intentional and strategic with your choices. Give yourself permission to say ‘no’ without over-explaining. And gratitude. Soon it will be The Season of Gratitude and thank goodness for that.Gratitude turns what we have into enough. It’s hard to feel the lack when you are focused on the abundance. Gratitude is a heavy hitter. What we appreciate, appreciates. Maybe the most exciting adventure you’ll have today is locating a decent cup of coffee. Or being able to stay in your pajamas all day, just because you want to. And that my friends, is something worth celebrating. Take a minute to close your eyes and say a heartfelt thank you. (It sounds more colourful in Māori.) More news at 11. Thank you for the quality of your attention. |
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